It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
