I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize