I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
