i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I would fuck him just for his dog
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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