i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
