Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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