that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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