ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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