Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize