wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize