i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
