How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
