About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
