Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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