I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
