ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
