If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
