He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
