i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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