the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
