youre lurking in front of me
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize