i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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