i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
