Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
