I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize