I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
