soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
