God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
