I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
