awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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