Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I believe in your delicious
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
