Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I love having hate sex.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We're too hungover to prance.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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