Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
