Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
