How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Banned from zoo.
Again?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
