So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
