I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
