Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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