More tranny stories later!
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
