his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
50% drunk capacity currently
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
