I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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