So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize