I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
