my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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