I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
