for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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