So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
