In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
