do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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