I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
