You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
