After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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