There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Ladies don't puke and tell
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
