so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We don't watch enough power rangers
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize