when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
