We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
