I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
