I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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