He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize