eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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