Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
