Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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