4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
