I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
