I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
