I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
