ya dads aren't the best wingmen
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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