i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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