You kept calling me your small dog last night.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Green mimosas i think yes
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
