Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
