i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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